Normally I wouldn’t remark on my romps through etymology, but “hlafweard” is a compound of hlaf, or loaf, and weard, which means guardian (see also Ward or Warden, etc). Meaning that when you call someone a lord you are calling him an esteemed keeper of the bread.
HEY THERE BREADBOX PETER WIMSEY. LOAF GUARD PALPATINE. BREAD CLIP VETINARI.
Lady also derives from hlaf, but in this case hlafdige or bread kneader. She makes the bread, he monitors it. Women have to do all the work as usual.
Now, the reason I was looking this up was that I wanted to develop a gender-neutral analogue to lord/lady; there are analogues already out there naturally, but the Shivadh must be different and anyway I didn’t like the ones I’d seen suggested online.
Given that the origins of Lord and Lady aren’t all that strongly gendered anyway (they’re about what the person does, not what their gender is), I decided that if a woman is a bread-kneader and a man is a bread-guarder, a nonbinary person should be A BREAD EATER, which would be Hlafetan.
Thus I present to you the gender-neutral analogue to Lord or Lady: Ledan.
And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins
@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!
It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth
SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.
NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED
YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.
It’s supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front
I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.
Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.
Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?
cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder
Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time
actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.
Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!
Behold, my grandmother’s recipe for Cranberry Surprise:
For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don’t have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.
For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and ½ tsp. of almond extract.
In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you’ve got one, or a fork if you don’t. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)
Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it’s supposed to be THAT pink.
Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.
American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.
(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)
I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.
One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.
Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!
Oh my ZOD I love that
my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.
we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.
Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.
Hello international friends, I am delighted to report all of the above is real :)
Not to come in with a steel chair here, but the ideal pairing for cranberry sauce in all forms, and the meat we *should* be serving at Thanksgiving, rather than easy-to-improperly cook turkey that tastes like napkins, is Lamb.
Okay so idk if a lot of people know this, but Damian was originally given up for adoption right after he was born before his story was reconned.
So in this comic, Damian is 9 years old and in the foster system in Gotham, unknowing who his parents are. He’s never stays long in a home because he’s very aggressive. He’s smart though, so he orders a DNA testing kit to hopefully find a relative to take him. Imagine his shock when he finds out his father is Bruce Wayne.
So this 9 year old walks into WE by himself, toddles up to the secretary, and asks to see Bruce Wayne. The secretary is like “haha okay, let me help you find your parents.” And Damian is like “you can. My dad is Bruce Wayne.”
And then Tim shows up!! And he’s like, “who’s your dad?”
And Damian is suddenly really nervous and shyly passes Tim the DNA test results. Tim looks them over, and Damian thinks he’s going to get turned away. But then Tim smiles at him and asks him if he has time for a drink.
Damian basically explains his life story over a cup of hot chocolate to Tim. Tim listens and tells him that he’ll make sure Bruce sees it and gives him his number if he has any questions (Damian doesn’t have a phone). Damian gets up to throw out his cup but Tim is like “oh I can throw that out for you. Talk to you soon!”
Cut to the BatCave where Bruce is staring at the DNA test results. Showing him and Talia as the parents. Tim stands behind him. “I doubled and tripled checked.” He says. “Not to mention he’s the spitting image of you.” He mumbles under his breath, knowing that Bruce isn’t in the mood for jokes right now. Alfred places some Tylenol beside Bruce using his butler powers to sense his on coming headache.
“And you said he walked into the lobby by self?” Bruce asked.
“Yeah, he said he took the bus.”
“Oh dear,” Alfred comments, “that is certainly not safe for a boy his age in Gotham. I wonder if his social worker knows about that…”
So the next morning, Damian finds that he’s out of custody from his foster parents. And he’s like “but I didn’t do anything this time!” And his social workers like “no, they’re getting charged with child endangerment. We already have a place lined up for you.”
Lo and behold, his new foster home is Wayne Manor. And he meets Bruce for the first time and he’s really nervous. And Bruce has to turn away because he almost starts crying. And Damian asks Alfred if he did something wrong and Alfred’s like “no, he’s just very happy to see you.”
And that’s basically it. But I also have this idea of how he discovers his Dad is Batman.
He comes downstairs in the early morning for a snack before going back to sleep to find Red Hood raiding their fridge. He runs to Bruce and he’s freaking because fucking RED HOOD broke into their house.
And Bruce groans and is mildly annoyed about and Damian is like “???? Does this happen often????” Bruce brings him downstairs and Red Hood is still there, but making a grilled cheese with his helmet off.
“Jay, how many times do we need to tell you know masks in the house?”
“I dunno. How many fucking children are you going to adopt?” He gestures to Damian hiding behind Bruce.
“He doesn’t know yet, Jay. I was going to wait until he was more comfortable.”
Jason is a little sheepish because he did give the kid a bit of a fright, so he turns around to apologize and introduce himself. And instantly is like “holy shit, that’s a bio kid.”
“Language, Jay…”
“Don’t language me, where the fuck did he come from???”
“What is happening??!!” Damian finally yells.
And then Bruce shows him the BatCave.
I did warn you I’d talk your ear off. I came up with this circa. 2018 - 2019 but I feel like I finally have the skill to draw it. And I honestly fell in love with it again, so I might lol.
He’s always taking Jason through breathing exercises, even though he’s breaking down himself
He’s always telling Tim to sleep more, while he can’t even remember the last time he slept for more than an hour
He’s always reminding Steph to take off her makeup before she sleeps, and yet he doesn’t even know how many scars and bruises he has anymore, because he refuses to wipe the covering off
He’s always teaching Damian to not push himself too hard, and at the same time he beats himself up over every single little thing
He’s always reassuring Cass that he’ll always be there to catch her, ignoring that no one would be there to watch him fall
He’s always helping Duke feel like he fits in, even though he feels like a stranger to everyone he’s ever loved
A Dick who’s always cleaning up other peoples messes without being asked, who only ever relies on himself, who forces himself through every day, who’s always there for everyone, who never lets anyone be there for him
A 10-millionth visitor to the Rijksmuseum of Netherlands was allowed to spend the night at Rembrandt’s painting “Night Watch” with a bottle of wine and dinner.
me in my animal crossing house after that fox has sold me another fake painting
Okay, as a nurse with an advanced cardiac life support certification for adults and a neonatal resuscitation certification, I feel like this is a question I can answer.
First, understand that the blood moved by cpr is much less than that moved by a normal heartbeat. Our goal with cpr is to maintain brain and critical organ perfusion until ROSC (return of spontaneous circulation) is achieved. The number of beats per minute recommended is based on what we know about about basically the maximum speed of cpr that can a) be achieved by an average person, b) be sustained by an average person, and c) (this is the most important) allow full chest recoil. Chest recoil is the chest getting back to full thickness after you release pressure on it. This is extremely important because that allows the heart to fill back up with blood so you can push it out with your next compression. Faster cpr doesn’t move blood efficiently because there’s not enough blood returning into the heart to push back out. We also compress in adults to a depth of 2-2.4 inches (5-6 cm) in an adult to ensure that we’re emptying the heart sufficiently. This depth is smaller in children because they have a proportionately smaller chest cavity. The key is we want to compress to a depth around 1/3 the total depth of the chest.
Second thing to understand is that the movement of oxygen is via a gas gradient. Oxygen wants to move from where there’s the most oxygen to the last oxygen until all fluids present have the exact same amount of oxygen. So we need to get oxygen into the blood. In one rescuer cpr this is achieved via compressions only because when you compress the chest you compress the lungs as well, which means that chest recoil also moves air into the lungs and this air allows for gas exchange which removes some CO2 and adds some oxygen. Chest recoil isn’t as good at this as ventilation, which is why if there are two rescuers we prefer to have one ventilate and one compress (ideally you’ll have more than 2 rescuers because best practice is to change compressors every 2 minutes). This will move more oxygen into the lungs.
Thirdly, we’re trying to maintain a minimum blood pressure (we probably won’t measure this during cpr until ROSC is achieved). In order to maintain brain, heart tissue, and kidney perfusion, we need enough blood pressure to move oxygenated red blood cells into the tissues and remove spent ones. Because we don’t measure this, I can’t remember the exact values, but I think in nursing school they said we needed a minimum of 80/40 to prevent kidney failure in sepsis, so I assume it’s somewhere around there.
Fourth, every time you pause compressions to change compressors, a gap in compressions of more than roughly one second plummets that blood pressure we’re trying to maintain down to zero. Your next 3 or so compressions won’t move oxygen. They’ll just be working to ‘pump up’ blood pressure to where we’re properly moving oxygen again.
So now that we know what cpr does, let’s talk Witcher physiology versus human physiology a little bit.
Now, in the shows, fan films, and games, witchers have roughly the same chest circumference as a human. This implies that the organs in the chest are roughly the same size as those of a human. So that means we should be keeping that compression depth of 2-2.4 inches or 1/3 the total chest depth to move blood.
We should also compare human pulse rate to Witcher, right? Well, a normal pulse rate for a human is 60-100 bpm. ¼ that is 15-25. CPR is done at an ideal rate of around 120 bpm, meaning it’s clinically tachycardic for a normal human. We also need to know that normal pulse range doesn’t mean every human’s resting pulse lays in that range. For very fit people, like say marathon runners and cross country skiers with excellent cardiovascular health, they often have a much lower resting pulse. I once looked after a marathon runner whose resting pulse rate was 30. What’s the resting rate for a Witcher again? Up to 25? Pretty close, right?
We do not taper the rate of our cpr for marathon runners. A couch surfer like me with a resting pulse of 80 gets the same 120 bpm cpr as a marathon runner who is well oxygenated at 30 bpm.
Given this, I believe that the Witcher should receive standard human cpr.
But here’s where it gets weird. Marathon runners and witchers live at a lower heartrate and (probably got witchers, definitely for marathon runners) blood pressure than your average human. Their body uses perfusion more efficiently. Which means that with good quality cpr, in marathon runners we sometimes achieve consciousness before ROSC. Which is great because it tells us we’re achieving perfusion of the brain. We do not want to slow down just because they became conscious. We want that perfusion.
But most people who wake up disoriented with someone bouncing on their chest and cracking their ribs become combative. So fun fact, you’re going to do cpr on your Witcher at normal human speed and then convince him to fucking stop fighting you until ROSC.
Now, we also use drugs and electricity to help restart the heart in ACLS and achieve ROSC. We probably don’t have electricity, so let’s consider drugs and run a 'chemical code’. Two big ones are atropine and adrenaline. If we want to be really nerdy, based on the ingredients and effects in the Witcher video games, Cat should have a decent amount of atropine. Maribor forest and Blizzard both generate adrenaline points so let’s assume those are artificial adrenaline at least in part.
So depending on what you think caused your Witcher to go down, when he wakes up from your excellent human speed cpr, have him drink Blizzard, Maribor forest, or Cat and hopefully you’ll achieve ROSC!
I’ve been skimming John Francis Daley’s (director on D&D: Honor Among Thieves) twitter and I continue to be so completely blown away by the movie’s commitment to practical effects and/or minimized CGI where feasible. I mean holy shit look at all this
Practical effects mean that the creators were largely unionized.
Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.
Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?
Dick: obviously it’s me?
Tim: it’s dick
Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.
Bruce: it’s Jason
Everyone: WHAT?!?!???
Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week
*everyone looks at dick*
Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school
*everyone looks at tim*
Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him
*everyone looks at Damian*
Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy
jasontoddispoly Asks:
twinklebrightly Said:
